Ask Your Spouse These Questions When You Encounter Parenting-Related Challenges
One of the major challenges that can affect the relationship of a married couple related to different parenting styles. What one parent might find appropriate could rub the other parent the wrong way, and this will pit one parent against the other — with the child stuck in the middle. Parenting can be stressful at the best of times, but when you're frequently butting heads with your significant other over the manner in which you're raising your children, your stress can increase notably. You may wish to book some counseling sessions with a marriage therapist, who can ideally help you to find common ground. Asking your spouse these questions can also be helpful.
What's Your Thought Process Behind This?
It's easy to assume that you know why your spouse is deciding something for your child, but the reality is that you may not be right. Incorrect assumptions can lead to conflicts, so asking your significant other why he or she is proceeding in a specific manner can be informative. In some cases, this question can also give your spouse pause — he or she may realize that he or she doesn't have a good reason for a certain parenting style, and may decide to make some positive changes.
Is This A Reaction?
Parents often parent in reactionary ways based on how they were raised. For example, a person who grew up with extremely strict parents may take more of a hands-off approach to his or her own child. Although such scenarios aren't necessarily negative, reacting to certain unpleasant situations by going in the opposite direction can be problematic. For example, if your spouse had a curfew growing up and hated it, he or she may allow your 14-year-old son to stay out all night. Checking in with your spouse to see if a reaction is present can help.
Do You Understand My Perspective?
When there's a parenting disagreement with your significant other, you may feel as though he or she is ignoring your point of view. Such a scenario can lead to conflicts, as you feeling unheard may prompt you to avoid trying to hear and understand your partner's ideas. Asking your spouse if he or she understands your perspective can begin a helpful and productive dialogue. For example, if you have reservations about a teen staying out all night, making sure that your spouse gets where you're coming from can make it easier to reach a consensus.
Contact a company like Can't We Just Get Along Counselling Inc. for more information and assistance.