Signs That A Spouse Is Emotionally Unavailable For You
One of the best things about a healthy marriage is that you and your spouse can rely on each other when times are tough. The emotional availability of your significant other can help you through a wide range of challenges, and you being there for him or her can have the same effect. Unfortunately, this isn't the case in every marriage. Sometimes, one spouse leans on the other, only to find that he or she is emotionally unavailable. Such a scenario can threaten your marriage, but you can turn to a therapist for help — either going together, going separately, or you just going on your own to explore this situation. Here are some indicators of an emotionally unavailable spouse:
He/She Doesn't Listen
A big clue that your spouse is emotionally unavailable is that he or she doesn't listen to you. If you come home after a hard day at work, for example, you might be eager to tell your loved one about how the day went and get some empathy. However, as you begin to talk about what you've gone through, your spouse may turn on the TV, use his or her smartphone, or just show signs of not listening. If you shift the subject to something else, such as what you're having for dinner, he or she may begin to engage again — and that can be a sign of emotional unavailability.
He/She Keeps A Distance
A supportive spouse should get a sense when you're having a tough time emotionally so that he or she can be there for you. A spouse who struggles with emotional unavailability may physically keep a distance from you. For example, if you've just had a fight with a family member over the phone, and it's clear that you'll be going to talk to your spouse after you hang up, he or she may sense this and go to a different part of the house, go outside, or even leave the house to do something else.
He/She Changes The Subject
Sometimes, you may begin to talk about an emotional issue that you're dealing with and find that your spouse seems to be engaged. However, someone who is generally emotionally unavailable will often change the subject — sometimes even making the situation about himself or herself — and it may never go back to the issue that you needed help with earlier. A therapist can be a valuable ally for you to help you deal with the emotional issues for which you can't get support at home.
Contact a company like COUNSELING WITH LISA MFT for more information and assistance.