Everyone goes through a rough patch in their marriage. There are plenty of reasons why married couples may experience what is often termed as a “failure” in their marriage. The reasons range from additional members to the family to the dreaded phenomenon of the midlife crisis to a simple matter of that spark that existed between two people simply going up in a simple poof of smoke. Whatever the reason may be, this brief article will attempt to give you some clarity about how you can go about improving the conditions of a failing marriage.
Determine Specific Issues That Are Making You Unhappy
Often times, people do not even know the issues in their marriage that is upsetting them. If you are upset with your significant other, then you should perhaps take inventory of the things that are bothering you. Is it something specific to do with the person, is it some chemistry problem between the two of you? Is it related to your finances or children or other members of your extended family? These are all questions that you should ask yourself. Determining the specific issues that are making you unhappy can produce a fruitful dialogue between you and your spouse and can cut back on the frustration of not being able to communicate your desires. Once you pinpoint what you feel like problems to be, you can get to work on rectifying the issues and start to build a stronger marriage.
Determine How You, Not Your Partner, Need To Change
It’s easy to play the blame game. Most people do it when it comes to relationships. In marriages, playing the blame game can lead to frustration and resentment, however. Remember: you’re working as a team. It is easy enough to see the problems in the other person that are causing you to become frustrated with your wife or husband. However, think about the glove being on the other hand for a moment, if you will. Remember that frustration arises in both parties, and you should realize that your actions are just as culpable for leading to a potential failure of a marriage, as well. Take inventory of your behavior, and ask your partner if there are any specific behaviors they have noticed in you that would benefit from positive change.
Clearly Communicate Needs
When it comes to ameliorating the effects of a deteriorating marriage, clamming up and not speaking to your spouse is not going to help with matters. One of the biggest problems affecting marriages today is an inability to clearly communicate your specific needs. If you are mad at your partner for not supplying you with some form of affection or phenomenon that you need, you’re not helping matters by not speaking up. Even partners that have been together for decades are not mind readers, so you’re going to have to open up if you feel as if something is missing in your marriage.
Seek Out Couples Counseling With Your Partner
Many married couples find it frightening to go through marriage or couples counseling. The prospect of speaking about your marriage with a third party involved can indeed be frightening. However, many roadblocks in a marriage, especially the inability to clearly communicate your ideas, can be overcome by having a professional counselor involved to help you through this trying time. A marriage counselor can help to bring insight to the table where before there was nothing but frustration. Take the time to consider marriage counseling as a way to help your marriage before it inevitably leads to failure.
A failing marriage need not necessarily end in failure. There are ways that you and your spouse can pick up the pieces and build your life together back to what it once was. Hopefully, this article has given you some insight on the how to begin picking up those pieces.